i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
