they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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