I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize