i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
