At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
