I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
