i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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