She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
