bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
