so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
