Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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