i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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