After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
