That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
