Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
