I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
he puts the penis in happiness.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
