Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
