I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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