Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it was like eating out sand paper
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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