I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
