U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
