I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
