we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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