That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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