so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
