now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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