Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
