My first STD was from a foam party
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
