i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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