Buhtt sex?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
