Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize