The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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