I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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