Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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