Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
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Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
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the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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