love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
