Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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