i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
