I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
