it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
