Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
