my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
