you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
