it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize