They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
