My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
