Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
