I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
