her vagine was all disorganized.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
