my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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