I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
