dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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