I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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