you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
