btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is the high leading the old right now
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
