my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
