Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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