It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
