i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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