shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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