How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
