Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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